Also---tumblr

I also have a tumblr---follow me-- http://xlitteredshorex.tumblr.com/  :)

Gorgeous Saturday

Oh hi there!  So despite my superstitions regarding 2011, it seems that this year is off to a really good start!  Home teams were announced and I am on the team I wanted to be on (Babes of Wrath just sounds so much more fierce than Cannery Rollers--though both are rad names), even though I feel that their team is stacked compared to ours.  Aaaaand, I made the All-Star Travel Team!  In addition to that, my 7th graders are still pretty cool, and there's a chance they're switching my 4/5th period class from the stupid scripted program to a transitional 7th grade class that uses the core curriculum.  SCORE!  I was also appointed as the head Fresh Meat coach for the league :)  And and AND I have three TA's this semester, so I have less work to grade--only the really important assignments.

Despite the grading I have looming over me at the moment, I am in a cheery mood. I woke up and went on a 7 mile skate with some of my girls along the coastal rec trail under a gorgeous sun and beautiful weather, had a good lunch with my Fresh Meat committee, shopped a little with Rack, and really just enjoyed this gorgeous Saturday.  Later, I'm going salsa dancing for the first time to celebrate the birthdays of two of my derby girls. I hope you all are enjoying your weekends just as much <3

Welcome, 2011

I'm superstitious about some silly things, and I have this weird thing where I believe that January 1st is sort of a microcosm of what how the year will go.  I know it's silly, but I can't help but enter 2011 with trepidation because I spent January 1st in bed.  I've been sick since Tuesday, off and on.  I've had weird stomach pains and I'm not sure what is causing them.  I hope this isn't a sign of things to come this year.  I really, truly hope that 2011 is awesome.  I haven't had an "awesome" year in a while.  I have a teacher work day tomorrow and the kids come back Tuesday.  I'm really not looking forward to it, though I did find that I missed most of my students over this break.

I do already know that there will be some positive points this year:  we're forming home teams and are going to have our first derby season!  I also got new skates for Christmas and will be breaking them in!

Some things I'm all about right now:  Ben Harper, The Big Bang Theory, and Butternut Squash soup.  And the nerd in me is smiling at the alliteration in that list :)

5 1/2 Instructional Days Until Break

I have had the worst week.  Most of it was directly related to the worst student I've ever had.  I have a student who has the worst attitude ever and is downright cruel to me.  She refuses to speak to me in any tone other than one that is just absolutely downright mean.  She doesn't like me (for no good reason as I am the easiest teacher to get along with) and she keeps me aware of it for two hours a day, five days a week.  The funny thing is that she does all her work, has an A in my class, and doesn't have the kind of behavior problems associated with a typical problem child.  I have been cussed out by students more times than I can count.  I have some of the most dreaded students in the school, all in the same class, who do nothing but talk the whole two hours and don't do any work, but I don't even flinch with those kids.  Those kids I can deal with, because it wasn't personal.  They still liked me.  They knew I was on their side, and they felt safe with me.  This girl doesn't like me.  It's personal with her and I"m not sure why.  I've never, in my 3 years of teaching been disliked by a student and I'm not sure how to deal with it.  I know this sounds really petty and wahwah.  I don't want her to see me as a friend or anything.  I just don't understand why she has such issues with me without having any reason to.  I'm sure I'll never get an answer.  I would be okay with the her not liking me thing, if she kept it to herself.
    Even if I just ask them to open their books, she has some kind of comment to make under her breath, "Ugh! Oh my god! I hate this class!"  All.  The.  Time.  I had finally had enough of her the other day and wrote her a referral.  Here is an example of everything she did in just ONE day:
Speaks to me in a disrespectful tone, daily.
Was asked to stop throwing paper balls from her seat into trash can.  Twice.  Didn't comply.  Detention assigned.
Continued to yell across the room to friends.
After the bell rang for 7th period and she was supposed to be in class (not mine), she came in with another student, disrupted my class, and erased her name from the detention list and left.
After school, asked twice to clear the parking lot and she didn't listen.  After the third time, she walked as slowly as possible.

So the assistant principal calls her in during my class the next day to issue the consequence (lunch detention till Xmas--HA!) and she comes back and wants to get into it with me about why I wrote her the referral in the first place.  I told her it was because she was disrespectful to me every day and she barked back, "THEN DON'T TALK TO ME!"  I told her that I'm her teacher and I have to talk to her, but that she needs to treat me with some respect.  She rolled her eyes and did another "Oh my god!" 

I seriously dread seeing her on a daily basis.  That's how much she ruins my day.  I'm so done with her.  Thank god she's moving to a different English class after the Winter Break.

My new feet.

Tonight a few of us headed up to San Jose to take a speed skating class from a World Champion Speed Skater.  We were hoping to get some tips on upping our speed and fine tuning our form.  As Nastassia talked about skating, I was rolling around a little, and taking some grapevine steps while I listened.  It was then that I looked down at my feet at my cheap, red, Reidell Diablo skates and was filled with a sense of calm.  I wondered: when had my skates become an extension of my feet?  I've been comfortable on skates for months, but I supposed I didn't realize they'd somehow become a part of me.  I feel like I can do anything in skates now, and be comfortable (short of going down an EXTREMELY steep hill, or maybe driving a car.  Anything standing, really).  It was a pretty neat feeling knowing that I've dedicated so much of my blood and sweat (and MONEY) to derby, and not only gain confidence and improve my skating skills, but to truly develop this new life.  My skates may be cheap, bottom of the line, and made of synthetic materials, but that means little to me because when I see my skates, I see: freedom, speed, expression, stress release, happiness, family, sisters, smiles, sweat, strength, and beauty.  They're better than any mirror you could ever put in front of me because they show me what's inside as well as outside.

Friday!

This week felt eons long, and it was only a 4 day week for me!  I am seriously over teaching middle school.  My 6/7 period class owed me 8 minutes after school today.  That's how much time they wasted (really, it was actually more like 20 minutes, but I can't keep them that long).  And it's not bad behavior that's the problem, it's just the talking.  It doesn't stop. EVER.  I know some would argue that talking is bad behavior, but when you're me and you've had three years of kids throwing paper, fighting, screaming "fuck you" at each other (and at you), stealing each other's shit, walking around the classroom without permission--talking is really the least bad thing they could do.  I'm so tired of middle school.

On the plus side, there was a dance after school.  I went for a little while and giggled at their version of "dancing."  Really, it seemed only the 6th graders were dancing and the 7th & 8th graders were just hanging out.  Really funny though.  Last year, at my old school, there were 4 young female teachers and we always had more fun at the dances than the kids did.  The kids barely even danced.  Maybe they were embarrassed/put off by their teachers dancing. :)

On another plus side, next week is only 3 days long and Thursday is the 2nd Annual NPH Day!!!!!!!

Name change?

I am thinking about changing the name of this blog.  I am terrible about updating it and it it probably in part due to the fact that I feel like I should only post school-related material.  I had the idea for this blog when I was teaching high school, and honestly, high school kids just have more personality than middle schoolers.  I could have written a book about my high school kids.  Middle school kids just aren't as entertaining.  Besides, I have pretty much decided that I'm not going to teach much longer, so I'd have to start a new blog or change the name eventually.  I am tired of teaching middle school.  I am even more tired of teaching intervention classes.  The curriculum is terrible (it's completely scripted.  I spend so much time reading from a teacher's edition textbook, because I have to read it WORD FOR WORD, that I pay no attention to what's going on in my classroom.  It's awful.  Since my district is in trouble, even the regular core classes suffer.  We have to teach from a pacing guide in which there is NO TIME to teach even one novel.  All I get to teach is short stories out of a textbook.  It's terrible.  When I think of the connections I made to literature, I think of the novels I read.  I can't remember even one short story I read out of a textbook.  There is no room for teacher creativity because we have to use all of the ancillary materials that came with the textbooks, which are BO-RING.  There is no more trust in the professional educator.  And I know I teach in a bad school district, but it's more systematic than that.  Public education in this country is a joke and it's not going to change even in my lifetime.  (Go see Waiting for Superman, seriously.) 
    Now, despite that, I've volunteered my time to work with a program through my school called Friday Night Live.  We take basically the chronic behavior problem kids and work with them, but sell it as a leadership program.  We have a curriculum from the Boys and Girls Club that we will use.  We meet with them twice a month--once with just our group, and then the second meeting is with the first round of Friday Night Live kids who will now be the mentors for the current kids.  It sounds like a great program, and I left the meeting tonight with such a positive feeling.  One of my most challenging students, Jorge (I wrote about him before, here)  is in it and despite his terrible behavior, he is one of my favorites because he is genuinely a great person at heart.  He's always in a good mood, always smiling, but has no idea how to act in a classroom, and makes poor choices--he has romanticized the gang life and wants to live his life that way.  He's the only kid I know in the program, but the rest of the kids are really genuinely good kids--they just have a lot of personal issues.  Tonight was a challenge.  We need to get them to respect each other and us, the staff, before we can even think about getting into the curriculum, but I think it will come.  When Jorge left, he gave me a hug which he's never done before, and my heart soared.  I really hope this program has a positive impact on him because he's such a special kid.
    I enjoy these types of things much more than teaching.  I'd rather talk to the troubled kids and mentor them, than try to convince them that school is fun and they should love English class.  I think rather than teaching, my efforts would be better spent on intervention programs.  I know I'll never truly leave the "education" field, but I can't keep teaching with things the way they are.